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Funny seaside story

A young Scottish woman was very depressed and decided to end it all by throwing herself into the sea off Ullapool. Just as she was about to do so, a young handsome sailor ran down to the shore and talked her out of it. "Look, you are young. There is so much you could do with you life." said the sailor. "In fact, my ship is sailing for Europe in the morning. I'll smuggle you on board and make sure you get plenty of food. If you'll just help me pass the lonely evening hours, I will get you over to Europe where you can start a new life."

That sounded great to the young women and she took up living secretly in his cabin on board ship. Every evening the sailor would bring her some food and the two would spend the night together.

After about a week of this though, the ship's captain discovered the woman hiding in the sailor's cabin. "What are you doing in here?" asked the captain. "Well, I have a deal with one of your sailors. He is smuggling me over to Europe, and he's s****ing me."

"I'll say!" replied the captain. "This is the Isle of Lewis Ferry."